Ten Years

Ten years ago today, my mom died of colon cancer.  TEN YEARS.  On the one hand, it is hard to believe that so much time has gone by, and on the other hand, it feels like yesterday.

Many of the people reading this blog never knew my mom.  My mom was awesome.  We talked every day.  My friends loved her.  She was fun, smart, opinionated, and taught me how to cuss.  She encouraged me to go to UCLA basketball games and fostered my love of collegiate sports.  She loved music and exposed me to oldies, country, and rock.  I taught her what "alternative" music was and she loved it.  She loved politics and current events, spending hours reading the newspaper.  She was a quilter and made me two quilts, for my 14th and 25th birthdays.  She made killer spaghetti sauce and potato salad. 

Sometimes I think back about the things that have happened since my mom died.  To put ten years into perspective, here's a few things she missed:

• dimpled chads
• my law school graduation
• the terrorist attacks of 9/11
• war in Iraq and Afghanistan
• the death of her father
• my move to NC
• passing the bar exam
• meeting John
• the Indian Ocean tsunami
• my dad's move from FL to NC
• buying our house
• hurricane Katrina
• my wedding
• the birth of her niece & nephew
• the economic crash & recession
• our first african-american president
• earthquake in Haiti
• the birth of my babies

This past weekend, John and I took the boys to Highlands to visit Mama Geddie and for their first trip to the mountains.  While sitting in the car outside a coffee shop and using their free wi-fi, Aerosmith's "What It Takes" came on the radio.  It's so funny how certain songs just trigger memories of my mom.  She LOVED that song.  When it used to come on the radio or on MTV (back when they showed videos), we used to blast it and sing at the top of our lungs.  :-)

So it's been TEN YEARS.  It is so much easier now.  I don't cry all the time when I think of her, I love talking about her, and I still miss her tremendously.  John and I have a wonderful family - my dad, his mom, my aunt, his sisters - and wonderful friends.  But I miss my mom.  I am not going to lie, I get jealous when I hear people talking about their mom babysitting their kids.  My mom never even knew I moved to NC, let alone met John or was there when my babies were born.  As a twin herself, I think it would have been really special for her to see me have twins, and for her to have her own relationship with them.  She could have made them baby quilts.  Babysat with my dad.  Been able to stop by and just hang out with us.

So I guess my point is this:  if you have a family history of colon cancer, you need to get a colonoscopy.  Like, yesterday.  I promise that it's not a big deal (I've had two).  If you don't have a family history, you need to get tested by age 50.  My mom was so stubborn and that just sucks, because colon cancer is so treatable if caught early.  So, get tested and give your mom a hug.

Marv & Melinda - January 16, 1972

June 16, 1974

February 1978

Hawaii, 1984

UCLA Graduation - June 16, 1996

Christmas 1999